As anyone who’s ever posted a blog realizes, the comments section attracts Spammers, or more specifically, their automated spambots.  These annoying apps rove the web, looking for space to post paragraphs filled with endless variations of  ”CHEAP VIAGRA!”  In the year and half that I’ve been writing this weekly blog, a little filter Plugin from Akismet has stopped over 3,000 spams.

But the spammers seem to be getting wise.  And they’re improving their come-ons. Increasingly, the spam Akismet captures for me includes a new generation that’s decidedly more subtle.

There’s now the “Blatant Appeal to the Blogger’s Ego” spam:

And it’s sibling, the “Blatant Appeal to the Blogger’s Ego with Uncalled for Enthusiasm” spam:

There’s the diligent variation, the “Blatant Appeal to the Blogger’s Ego with A Dutiful Promise of Follow Up Action, Despite the Odd Initial Automation Code Artifact” spam:

And there’s the exuberant variation, the “Blatant Appeal to the Blogger’s Ego that Starts With a Well-Recognized Web Brand” spam:

There’s the foot-in-the-door variant, the “Blatant Appeal to the Blogger’s Ego While Phishing for an E-Mail” spam:

Finally, there’s the type like this, which I’m sure is even cagier still, but the cyrillic type keeps me from ever really knowing:

If that last one offends anyone, I apologize.  Seriously, it could pretty much say anything.

By Dennis Ryan, CCO, Element 79

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Those Akismet people make a seriously great product: to date I’ve been shielded from upwards of twelve hundred comments, most of which look like the graphic at left.  Seriously, that’s what spammers typically post to my comments section.  Over and over again.

Now I’m not gonna pretend the promise of greater virility (and more satisfaction for her!) has no audience, particularly among middle aged men like myself…but why do they then make the leap to also assume I’m fat (Hoodia), depressed (Effexor, Lexapro, Paxil), hearburn-y (Nexium, Prilosec), and swimming in cholesterol (Lipitor)?  Seriously, this is how you think it’s best to introduce and promote yourself?  Sending me a slew of value judgments presented in a barrage of repetitious garbage?  And they you do it over and over with link after link in spam after spam?   This is the marketing equivalent of a busload of campers singing “100 Bottle of Beer on the Wall” but starting at say, 237,999.  That’s not marketing, it’s bombardment.

Please, for the love of all that is good and holy and beautiful in this world, never, ever, ever click on this kind of garbage.  Who we choose to reward with our discretionary spending reflects our values.

And I can’t think of anyone I know who isn’t better than this.

By Dennis Ryan, CCO, Element 79

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