Spam

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I Usually Only Post Monday-Friday, But…

April 24, 2010 in Advertising | No comments

This spam message was just too innovative.  Basically, this one’s angle was to call-me-out, barroom style, for a battle of wits.  Here’s the message:

You have thought up such matchless answer?
Only dare once again to make it!
In my opinion you are not right. I can defend the position. Write to me in PM, we will talk.
You are mistaken. I suggest it to discuss. Write to me in PM, we will talk.
It is an excellent variant

.

It is an excellent variant indeed.  And I’m tempted to write stirka7.ruzakiryacsfvak@mail.ru in the PM at his suggest it to discuss.

Then again, I have plans tonight, so I probably won’t.

By Dennis Ryan, CCO, Element 79


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Thanks Twitter But I Don’t Want To Be Followed By Lydia Lancaster (ditzybabe83454)

March 29, 2010 in Advertising | No comments

My daughter and I attended the matinee of “Trust” at the Lookingglass Theatre yesterday.  This imaginatively-presented new play centers around an internet sexual predator and a freshman at New Trier High School.  We found it well-acted and decidedly well-intentioned, although that led to a few ham-fisted moments in the writing.  Still, this tale of the real dangers inherent to easy iPhone and laptop access is enough to make any parent yearn for more Luddite times.

So the topic of inappropriate web contact was already fresh in my mind when I received not just one but two consecutive notices from women I don’t know who nonetheless feel comfortable introducing themselves while topless.  Apparently these aggressively body-confident gals feel compelled to follow both my agency and personal Twitter feeds.

While it would feed my ego to pretend our Tweets provide the kind of entertaining and rewarding commentary that works like a bug light on nymphomaniacs, the truth is I fit a profile: middle aged professional male.  And so my inbox gets bombarded with pitches for every baldness, weight control and erectile dysfunction remedy imaginable.  These are the methods taken by some of the less savory corners of my chosen profession.

Spam goes everywhere–I get that.  And yes, I’m painfully aware of Internet Rule 34 (“If it exists, there is porn of it”).  It just bums me out that everything, everywhere merits a Parental Advisory sticker.  We were just looking to play in the social network, not ‘play’ wink-wink, nudge-nudge.

So no Lydia, I won’t be following you back.

By Dennis Ryan, CCO, Element 79


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Is This Progress? Contextual, Behavioral Messaging Comes To Spam.

March 11, 2010 in Advertising | 1 comment

New techniques in behavioral targeting raise privacy issues very worthy of debate. Some might think this kind of thing is limited only to deep-pocketed, multi-national marketers. Au contraire…

As anyone who’s ever posted a blog realizes, the comments section attracts Spammers, or more specifically, their automated spambots.  These annoying apps rove the web, looking for space to post paragraphs filled with endless variations of  ”CHEAP VIAGRA!”  In the year and half that I’ve been writing this weekly blog, a little filter Plugin from Akismet has stopped over 3,000 spams.

But the spammers seem to be getting wise.  And they’re improving their come-ons. Increasingly, the spam Akismet captures for me includes a new generation that’s decidedly more subtle.

There’s now the “Blatant Appeal to the Blogger’s Ego” spam:

Dennis Ryan Element 79 Chicago Advertising

And it’s sibling, the “Blatant Appeal to the Blogger’s Ego with Uncalled for Enthusiasm” spam:

Dennis Ryan Element 79 Chicago Advertising

There’s the diligent variation, the “Blatant Appeal to the Blogger’s Ego with A Dutiful Promise of Follow Up Action, Despite the Odd Initial Automation Code Artifact” spam:

Dennis Ryan Element 79 Chicago Advertising

And there’s the exuberant variation, the “Blatant Appeal to the Blogger’s Ego that Starts With a Well-Recognized Web Brand” spam:

There’s the foot-in-the-door variant, the “Blatant Appeal to the Blogger’s Ego While Phishing for an E-Mail” spam:

Dennis Ryan Element 79 Chicago Advertising

Finally, there’s the type like this, which I’m sure is even cagier still, but the cyrillic type keeps me from ever really knowing:

Dennis Ryan Element 79 Chicago Advertising

If that last one offends anyone, I apologize.  Seriously, it could pretty much say anything.

By Dennis Ryan, CCO, Element 79


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Spammed-A-Lot: Imagining a Life Without Akismet

December 21, 2009 in Advertising | No comments

When I first started blogging a year ago, I noticed this little switch on WordPress that activated something called Akismet.  Apparently, this product shielded my comments section from Spam, and so I clicked it.

Picture 2Those Akismet people make a seriously great product: to date I’ve been shielded from upwards of twelve hundred comments, most of which look like the graphic at left.  Seriously, that’s what spammers typically post to my comments section.  Over and over again.

Now I’m not gonna pretend the promise of greater virility (and more satisfaction for her!) has no audience, particularly among middle aged men like myself…but why do they then make the leap to also assume I’m fat (Hoodia), depressed (Effexor, Lexapro, Paxil), hearburn-y (Nexium, Prilosec), and swimming in cholesterol (Lipitor)?  Seriously, this is how you think it’s best to introduce and promote yourself?  Sending me a slew of value judgments presented in a barrage of repetitious garbage?  And they you do it over and over with link after link in spam after spam?   This is the marketing equivalent of a busload of campers singing “100 Bottle of Beer on the Wall” but starting at say, 237,999.  That’s not marketing, it’s bombardment.

Please, for the love of all that is good and holy and beautiful in this world, never, ever, ever click on this kind of garbage.  Who we choose to reward with our discretionary spending reflects our values.

And I can’t think of anyone I know who isn’t better than this.

By Dennis Ryan, CCO, Element 79

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