UK Researchers: The Chicken Came First Q.E.D.

Element 79, Chicago Advertising, Dennis RyanCBS.com posted a story Wednesday that should have all thoughtful people sleeping a little easier.  Or not. Dr. Colin Freeman, a researcher at Sheffield University, announced this groundbreaking news: “It had long been suspected that the egg came first, but now we have the scientific proof that shows that in fact the chicken came first.”

Well mercy if that doesn’t beat all.  Knowing that a group of our finest scientific minds focused their intellect on a question of such import, enlisting both colleagues at Edinburgh’s Warwick University and an analytical supercomputer to eventually discover that a vital protein found in a chicken’s eggshell is only found inside a chicken.  If the protein only exists in the shell and the chicken and not inside the egg, then voila!  The chicken came first!

I’ve done lots of stupid, time-wasting things in my life–posting something here every weekday may well be one of them–but somehow I expect more from scientists.  Given our problems with childhood obesity and leaking oil in the Gulf and spotty iPhone reception, let’s hope they turn to more worthy pursuits.

In other words, if I’m ever walking through a lifeless forest and find recording equipment, I’m gonna unplug it.  Some mysteries should remain mysterious.

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By Dennis Ryan, CCO, Element 79

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