What do Burberry, Moncler, Prada, Hermes and Gucci Have In Common With Papa Johns? Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam…

Dennis Ryan, Advertising, OlsonEarlier this week, Papa John’s pizza chain was served a $250 million class-action lawsuit over illegal text messages. Allegedly, they blasted their customers with half a million deal offers, sometimes over a dozen in a row in the middle of the night.

I face a similar issue, albeit on a much smaller scale. This blog gets spam, lots of spam. As I wrote this, I cleared fifty-seven come-ons written by spam artists for whom English must be a far distant second language.

I liked this one: “Wonderful web site. A lot of useful info here. I am sending it to some pals ans additionally sharing in delicious. And naturally, thanks to your sweat!”

Thanks for noticing my sweat, anonymous offshore spammer. I appreciate that.

And then there’s this manic pitch from someone who has been mainlining way too much 5-Hour Energy or worse:  “How about going out for dinner?I want to have a part-time job.What you said was quite true.Let me explain why I was lateDon’t be so childish.What is your plan?What is your plan?All that glitters is not gold.This work itself is very easy.He is used to eating out all the time”

You might want to consider decaf.  Or at least trying the space bar.

Some of these pitches flatter my ego (“great post! I will be having much knowledge now!”), some just get right to the sell (“Best Hermes replica scarves”), but none of these bottom feeders are wanted.  At first, I found it remarkable how the return emails from at least 70% of these spammers mention a luxury fashion brand.  But on second thought, it’s hard to imagine a more perfect pairing than offshore spambot and black-market counterfeiter.

They deserve each other.

By Dennis Ryan, CCO, Olson